Thursday, April 20, 2006

Advice

1. To the lady in the green Land Rover who was following me on the highway yesterday: It makes me very nervous when you drive 2 inches from my bumper at highway speeds while talking on your cellphone, especially when objects stashed behind your rearview mirror keep falling on your lap. Constantly turning around to yell at the child in the back seat doesn't help either. Apparently you are very adept at multi-tasking, because several times I expected your exceptionally large vehicle to end up in my backseat, yet you somehow managed to prevent this from happening. A few tips for making your future driving expeditions less stressful for both of us: First of all, go buy yourself a hands-free headset. Setting your cellphone to speaker, and then constantly switching it from your ear to your mouth and back again does not qualify as "hands-free." If you can afford the Land Rover, you can afford the $20 headset. Secondly: If you want to drive faster than me, you might want to try the left or center lanes. Just an idea.

2. To the guy in the blue BMW who was following me on the parkway yesterday, after I finally managed to ditch Land Rover Lady: While I appreciate that you kept a reasonable distance from my bumper, and that you did not turn to yell at unruly children or chat on your cellphone, you should be aware that picking your nose while you're driving just increases the usage of that old "money can't buy class" joke. That fact that you don't have any passengers does not mean that nobody can see you. You are, after all, completely surrounded by glass. Just something to think about.

3. To the receptionist at the Veterinarian office: According to Webster, the definition of "receptionist" is "one employed to greet telephone callers, visitors, patients, or clients." Therefore, when I come in and stand in front of your desk, it is your job to acknowledge my presence in some way. If you are helping an elderly woman who has gone and sat back down in her seat while looking through her purse, all you have to do is say something along the lines of "Have a seat, I'll be with you shortly." When I finally go sit down on my own after you spend several minutes refusing to make eye contact with me, and after the elderly woman finally returns to pay her bill, you might want to limit the amount of time you spend telling her in great detail about your sister-in-law's friend's neighbor, who found her mother's body while stopping in for a visit. Yes, that is a tragedy to be sure, but you have a customer waiting, and the sister-in-law's friend's neighbor might not appreciate you gossiping about what condition she found her mother's body in. Oh, and another tip: If I walk in without a pet, it's probably safe to assume I'm there to pick one up. Loudly asking "Do you have an appointment" across the waiting room in the middle of your conversation with the elderly lady, when enough time has passed that even you realize you're being rude, does not make you seem any less ignorant. No, I do not have an appointment to have the Vet check out my invisble pet.

4. To the rest of the staff at Veterinarian's office, including both women I spoke with on the phone when making and then confirming the appointment, and the morning receptionist who took my cat from me the day of surgery: If I have a certificate from the Humane Society for a free spay/neuter, and I have confirmed with each of you that you participate in the program and accept said certificate, do not be surprised when I am upset by the $256 bill you present me with when I arrive to pick my kitty up. And the fact that the Humane Society only reimburses you $35 when you normally charge $350 is not my problem. If you are unhappy with their reimbursement rates you should withdraw from the program instead of complaining to customers about it. Sending the Vet in to discuss the bill with me after the surgery will not improve my opinion of your office. The proper time to discuss additional charges, like $118.84 for a pre-surgery exam and $40.65 for anesthesia, is before the surgery, not after. I most likely would have agreed to the extra charges if told about them ahead of time, but failing to disclose $256 in extras for a free neuter just ensures that you will never see me or my cat again. And really, should anesthesia be considered an "extra" anyway? It's kind of necessary. I hope.

Okay, now that my rants are over, a few additional comments: First off, it's much easier to blog on a functioning computer. The Evil Computer was right, I am too cheap to replace him with a brand-new system, but I discovered this little place called the Dell Outlet Store that sells refurbished, scratch-and-dent, and previously-ordered-new computers for much less than a new system would have cost. The first two categories kind of scare me, so I am now the proud owner of a "previously-ordered-new" computer, which supposedly means that someone ordered it then refused it when it arrived. Because I'm both an idiot when it comes to computers and not very trusting, I'm also the proud owner of an extended in-home service warranty. The Evil Computer dominated our household for five years; his replacement needs to last at least seven (until my daughter is done with college, because I won't be able to afford another until then). Therefore, the Evil Computer will be given to my wonderful dad, who has volunteered to fix him, and will be returning to our household as our slightly humbled, back-up computer for when the Replacement eventually breaks.

Finally, a confession: The new computer arrived Tuesday afternoon, and was hooked up and functioning by late Tuesday night. Therefore, I could have resumed blogging yesterday. But the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the bare, weed-ridden soil around my patio was calling to me. So I opted to spend the day turning that area into a new Hosta garden instead. So, two dozen Hostas, ten bags of mulch, and several transplanted trees/shrubs later I have a beautiful sanctuary around the patio & pond. Too bad the new computer's not a laptop.

Posted by The Gradual Gardener :: 7:17 AM :: 12 Comments:

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