Wednesday, January 04, 2006

What If The Policeman Thinks You're Fat And Pimply?

So my dented car and I headed down to the police station today, to pick up my accident report. Except that it wasn't an accident report, it was an incident report, because it happened on private property (a parking lot). Turns out an incident report has no useful information on it whatsoever. It's half a page long, lists the date and the address the "incident" took place at, both licenses plate numbers and the fact that vehicle #1 was at fault (Ok, I guess that part was useful, since I was vehicle #2).

The report doesn't give any information on the other guy, other than his license plate number, but it does list my name because I was the "complainent." No, I didn't misspell that, the police did. Fortunately I didn't look at it until after I left the station, or I would have felt obligated to suggest Spellcheck, and it's probably not a good idea to annoy the police.

Under my name are spaces for race, sex, date of birth, height, weight, hair, eyes, facial hair, build, and complexion. All of these were left blank, which is good, because I don't really need the officer's assessment of my build or my complexion. And it would have been really embarrassing if he had listed "bushy eyebrows" under facial hair...it's been awhile since I've had them waxed.

Posted by The Gradual Gardener :: 4:25 PM :: 0 Comments:

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