Saturday, December 17, 2005

Christmas Gifts For My Family

We're not doing much in the way of Christmas gifts this year, except for the kids in the family. I actually miss this. Shopping can be a pain, especially for people you don't know well enough to know what they want. But I know what everyone in my immediate family likes, and I keep seeing things I want to get them. Then I remember...oh, we're not doing that this year...

So I decided to make a list of things I would get for my family if I could. I'm not sure what I'd get my mother, but that's ok, because I won't celebrate with her until Christmas Day, so I have time to think more about it. We're celebrating with my dad today. So here's the list:

For my dad, I'd get him an extremely generous early retirement package, so he could take that job giving tours at the seaport or a museum. The tour job would be part-time, so he could enjoy his sailboat (a new, seaworthy sailboat, not that thing up on blocks in his yard). And I'd give him a new administration in the White House.

For my stepmom, I'd give her a big enough gap between my dad leaving his old job and starting the new one to let her company send her to England or Africa, or wherever she chooses for six months (provided she chooses somewhere safe). And I'd offer to take care of her gardens while they were gone. Only six months, though, because I'd miss them if they were gone longer than that. And it would be nice if her company threw in extra plane tickets, so family members could visit. Oh, and a new administration in the White House (actually, that gift would work for a lot of people).

For my sister and her husband, I'd give them season passes to all the Uconn women's basketball games, and the time to actually use them. I'd also give them peppermint ice cream year-round, not just at Christmas, and sticks of pepperoni with only end pieces, and brownies with only middle pieces (actually I am giving them brownies with only middle pieces, but hopefully they won't read this until after I see them later today). And that new administration thing...that too.

I won't be celebrating with my grandmother today, except in my heart, but if I could give her a gift I would make her arthritis and all the aches and pains of aging go away. Also I'd move her north, but that's purely selfishness on my part. I don't know my grandmother's political views, so I would only wish her a new administration if she really wanted one. You do want one, don't you Gramma?

And to Mosby, I'd give all the dog treats he wanted, and he'd be allowed to eat them without someone balancing them on his nose first. And, uh, a new administration...

Posted by The Gradual Gardener :: 10:00 AM :: 4 Comments:

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