Thursday, January 05, 2006

Toilet Paper As An Accent Piece

I have a work truck that I get to keep at my house. Every year, when I'm done with work for the season, I give the truck back, so it can be serviced and put in the garage for the winter. This year I had it a little longer than usual, because the garage wasn't ready (they just moved to a new location). So instead of me driving to the garage on my last day of work, leaving the truck off and having someone give me a ride home, like we usually do, my boss decided to come pick it up.

How many of you have ever had your boss in your house?

Right...

I like my boss a lot. He's a great guy, and a really good boss. I've also been in his house many times. It's spotless. Mine...isn't. So this morning I run around, straightening everything up on the outside chance he comes inside. Which he does. Which is fine, because the place didn't look too bad, and it's winter, so frost has killed off all the weeds in the front yard (he never, ever would have hired me if he'd seen my yard first). Everything is good.

Until he leaves, and I notice something sitting on the shelf directly opposite the front door. The shelf I apparently missed while doing my speed-cleaning. The shelf that is usually the first thing you see when you walk in the door. Sitting on the shelf was...a roll of toilet paper.

Hubby does not like to use tissues when he blows his nose. He says they're not strong enough, and he prefers toilet paper. It doesn't matter that I buy expensive, 3-ply tissues and cheap, thin toilet paper; he just doubles (or triples) the toilet paper up. When I point out that he could do the same with the tissues, he ignores me. Because this really isn't about paper products. It's a Power Struggle.

There are only a few things we Power Struggle over. The curtains are one...I like light, he doesn't. You know that pizza commercial, where the delivery guy goes up to a dark house and the guy who answers the door is so excited about how low the cost of the pizza is that he lets his kids turn on the lights for a few seconds, then says "That's enough" and shuts them off again? That guy is totally my husband. Except with Hubby it's not about saving on the electric bill; he just likes it dark. So whenever I walk by the curtains I open them, and whenever he walks by he closes them. I win on this when we have guests over, so at least it was light in here when my boss stopped by. However, that was an hour ago, and I'm in the spare room now, and Hubby's in the living room, so guess what? The curtains are closed again. Not completely, because that would be too obvious. No, there's about three inches less light showing from each window than there was when I last entered the room. And if I leave it unchecked, by this afternoon it will be just a tiny slit of light.

We also battle over the couch cushions. The couch is a sage-green color, with 5 big cushions on the back. One side of the cushions is the same green as the couch, and the other has a brown and tan pattern on it. The loveseat is brown (actually the loveseat is pink, with a brown cover, but we won't go there). So I like the brown & tan side up, to tie-in with the loveseat. He doesn't like the pattern, though, so he's always turning the green side up. This is another one I win when we have guests over. Actually I win this one more often than the curtain-battle, because once he's sitting on the couch he'll usually leave the cushions alone. But when I get up in the morning, all is green again.

The toilet paper battle is one my daughter and I wage together. Teenagers don't particularly enjoy bringing friends home from school to find a roll of toilet paper on the coffee table. As if having dorky parents home when you get there isn't embarrassing enough... Despite it being two against one, Hubby usually wins the toliet paper battle, because if we move the roll from the coffee table back into the bathroom (where it belongs), he'll just go get it again, and leave it somewhere else next time. Like, apparently, the shelf across from the front door.

So, Boss, if you ever find this blog, please be aware that I don't intentionally decorate my house with toilet paper. But while you were here, did you notice how nicely the brown & tan couch cushions match the pink loveseat with the brown cover? Not to mention the lovely Sasparilla-colored walls?

Posted by The Gradual Gardener :: 9:31 AM :: 5 Comments:

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