Wednesday, January 25, 2006

And the Award For Most Likely To Succeed Goes To...

Shrinking Violet posed an interesting question on her blog yesterday...What would you change if you were a dictator? I started a comment, but it turned out so long I figured it deserved its own post.

See, there are quite a few people out there who seem to work in a field that is unsuited for them. So, my first task as dictator would be to help them out by orchestrating a few career changes.

George W. Bush would be in the military. Not a position of any importance, since we can't have him endangering our troops with his ineptitude. I'm not from a military family, so I don't know the proper terminology, but isn't there some sort of "scout" position? You know, someone who goes into a dangerous area first, to make sure it's safe? I would give him that job. Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld could join him.

Cindy Sheehan would have Donald Rumsfeld's old job.

Brannon Chandler, and all other animal abusers, would have jobs cleaning out zoo exhibits. Specifically, the elephant exhibit.

Paris Hilton would work in a large factory. It's not that I'm wishing her ill; she doesn't need to be cleaning toilets or anything. It's just that I think the girl who's "famous for being famous" and always has her nose in the air should spend some time in a place where she's just a number. I think it would do her good.

Jon Stewart would be president.

The spouses of coal miners would be guaranteed a spot on the board that supervises mine safety. If anyone will make sure everything possible is done to avoid another tragedy, they will. And they would have unlimited resources to do what needs to be done (taken directly from the coal companies' profits).

Since Tom Crusie has such a problem with psychology, my first inclination was to make him a psychiatrist. I decided that would probably be pretty harmful to his patients, though, so instead I'd make him a lunatic nutjob badly in need of a psychiatrist...Oh, wait, he already is.

Can you think anyone else in need of a career change?

Posted by The Gradual Gardener :: 11:13 AM :: 9 Comments:

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